जो मिल गया उसी को मुक़द्दर समझ लिया

जो खो गया मैं उसको भुलाता चला गया

ग़म और ख़ुशी में फ़र्क न महसूस हो जहाँ

मैं दिल को उस मुक़ाम पे लाता चला गया

मैं ज़िन्दगी का साथ निभाता चला गया

हर फिक्र को धुंए में उड़ाता चला गया

– From Movie Name: Hum Dono (1961)

Singer: Mohd Rafi

Music Director: Jaidev

Lyrics: Sahir Ludhianvi

## Vedic Mathematics Lessons

I recently came across a book called ‘Vedic Mathematics’. I started reading it. Don’t ask me why. Because I don’t know.

Maybe its one of those psychological things. I’ve always been weak at mathematics. Particularly during the last years in school and during college. Add to that the catchy headline of the book:

**VEDIC MATHEMATICS**

OR

*Sixteen simple Mathematical Formulae from the Vedas*

**(For One-line Answers to all Mathematical Problems)**

Now that’s impressive ! One-line Ansers to ALL mathematical problems ? Really, for someone like me… its like finding Kryptonite ! Why didn’t I get hold of something like this during school days ?

One thing that really scared the shit out of me was the picture of the book’s author, which is on the first page of the book.

What I came to know for sure that this book is truly an ancient book. (The picture above obviously suggests so), and hence it is genuine.

Well, then I started reading this book. As I went on reading it, chapter after chapter, I realized how much at fault our system of primary education is. Really, the British Raj did so much damage to India economically, but the amount of damage they did to us intellectually is unfathomable. So much of ancient wisdom has been lost over the years, and that too, particularly in the last century. The present system of teaching mathematics seriously needs a revamp.

Throughout the book, the author takes care in pointing out the time / number of steps saved by following the Vedic method to solve a particular problem, in each case. Any major change in methodology requires a proof of effectiveness, and the author readily provides us the same at so many places in the book.

For example, lets say we want to multiply **321 **by **213**.

By following our regular procedure which is taught to us in school,

Huffffff …. So thats the answer. As it is clear, it takes 3 steps of multiplying a 3 digit number with a single digit and then addition of the 3 results to give the final result. In effect, it takes us 4 steps.

Now using the Vedic ऊर्ध्व तिर्यग्भ्याम् (Urdhva Tiryagbhyam) sutra, (which simply means, “vertically and cross-wise”), starting from the right side,

Yes, it just takes one line of calculation… And all of it need only be mentally done. How did this happen? Well, as the method name suggests, it was obtained by multiplying the digits “vertically and crosswise”.

To get the right-most digit of the answer, multiply the two right-most digits 3 x 1 = 3 .

To get the second-last digit, multiply 2 x 3 and 1 x 1 (crosswise) and add them together, giving 6 + 1 = 7.

For the next digit, 3×3 + 2×1 + 1×2 = 3 with 1 carried over to the next step.

For the next digit, 3×1 + 2×2 + 1(carry) = 8.

Finally, the first digit 3 x 2 = 6.

Hmmm…. that looks quite simple… doesn’t it? OK… I think if I were taught to multiply like this then I would have been much quicker in my calculations. 😦

Ok guys… Till next time……

## Fake IPL Player

Couldn’t help posting about it. But this is just so cool.. Even more interesting than this year’s IPL, I would say.

This guy claims he’s a member of the KKR team and he’s blogging about what happens before and after a match, during parties, breakfasts, team meetings. Also giving a sneak peek at each of their characters.

And everything without naming anyone. He just uses hilarious nicknames for each of them.

Here’s the blog : http://fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com

## सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना – गुलाल (Sarfaroshi Ki Tamanna from Gulaal)

सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है

देखना है ज़ोर कितना बाज़ु-ए-क़ातिल में है

वक़्त आने दे बता देंगे तुझे ऎ आसमाँ

हम अभी से क्या बताएँ क्या हमारे दिल में है |

ओ रे बिस्मिल काश आते आज तुम हिन्दोस्ताँ

देखते कि मुल्क़ सारा क्या टशन में, चिल में है

आज का लौंडा ये कहता हम तो बिस्मिल थक गए

अपनी आज़ादी तो भइया लौंडिया के दिल में है |

आज के जलसों में बिस्मिल एक गूँगा गा रहा

और बहरों का वो रेला नाचता महफ़िल में है

हाथ की खादी बनाने का ज़माना लद गया

आज तो चड्ढी भी सिलती इंग्लिसों की मिल में है |

## Benglish

“Have you seen Bhee for Bhendetta?”, a Bengali colleague asked me when he came to know of the vast movie resource which I owned.

“Sorry, I haven’t watched many Bangla movies, only Satyajit Ray ones…”, I replied.

And the very next moment, I realized what a grave mistake I had done. I immediately corrected myself, “….err….yeah…yeah…I think I have seen it. You were asking about V for Vendetta right ?”. He gave me a ‘Who’s this asshole?’ look and nodded his head slowly.

Well, that was a small and pretty harmless incident. But imagine what could have happened had it been my boss (if he was a Bengali) instead of my colleague. And this could happen to anybody. So for the benefit of all, here is a quick – reference guide on what to expect from a Kolkatan Bengali.

1. **V=Bhee**.

A long time ago, when the British came to Calcutta, an old English gentleman had developed some sort of a grudge against Bengalis. Maybe he didn’t like their preparation of fish. (or something else, who cares). So when he was given the enviable task of teaching them English, he taught them, ” …. Q, R, S, T, U, **Bhee**, W, X, Y, Z ..”

And indeed, great learners as we are, this knowledge was handed down from generation to generation, (like the Vedas). So today we see a Somnath Chatterjee, a Pranab Mukherjee, a Sourav(**Bh**) Ganguly, and my colleague Mr. X (name changed to preserve anonymity), exhibiting their knowledge.

2. **Breeze = a game of cards, bridge= a gentle flow of air**.

In my childhood, I took the above statement to be the truth. Anything learned as a child stays long, so it was indeed a rude shock for me to realize (in my IInd or IIIrd class, I don’t remember now) that it was actually the reverse which was true. Anyways, I corrected myself in time. So now I know that when someone refers to ‘Howrah Breeze’, he’s actually not referring to the gentle flow of air blowing over the railway station by that name.

3. **WWW = Uaarld Uide Ueb**

And similarly, Aishwarya Rai was Miss **Uaa**rld, Sushmita Sen was Miss **Eeu**nibhaars, and so on and so forth… Maybe the grudging English gentleman also taught us to over-stress the Ws and the Us.

4. **S=Sh**

“He’s **sh**iting on his **sh**it”, was the shocking reply which I got from one of the volunteers at an event at Jadavpur University, which I once went to attend during my college days. All I had asked of him was the whereabouts of the Convener of the event.

And he had said this so cheerfully, as if it were his favourite pastime.

5. **अ = आ**

Kolkatans cannot pronounce the अ sound. In English, they make it आ and in Hindi, they make it ओ.

Confused? Here are some examples:

cutting = k**aa**tting; convention = k**aa**nbhensh**aa**n, bundle = b**aa**ndle (or b**aa**nd**aa**l)

Sachin = Sh**o**chin. etc., etc., etc.

So I hope now whoever read this will be better prepared to avoid unwanted embarrassing moments, which might severely affect your good relations with your Kolkatan peers and bosses. 🙂

PS:: This post has been written in good humour. No ill feelings. I am a Bengali, born and brought up in UP. And I am tired of hearing the ‘My language is purer than yours’ taunt from the Kolkatans. So this is a grudge post, intended to give some back in the same coin !! 😀